I've blown a few things in my day
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
