Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
being pregnant is like rehab
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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