Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
