yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
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