I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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