lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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