The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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