a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
