I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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