dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize