Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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