we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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