I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize