we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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