He asked to "fluff my boner.."
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
