haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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