If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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