I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
