I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
