Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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