Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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