Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
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