What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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