is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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