How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
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in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
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All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
This toilet bowl is my home.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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