If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Can i not drive my cunt home
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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