i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
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