Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize
