we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
