No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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