so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I wish life had little blips of pornography
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
