Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
