I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
