she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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