I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
