"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
