Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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