you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
