I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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