i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize