why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
