her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
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Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
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