If i could tip my vagina, i would.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Randomize
