I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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