is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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