I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
