idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
