I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
