Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize