Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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