please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Randomize
