Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
this must be what syphilis tastes like
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Randomize
