i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
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