Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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