I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
