at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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