Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Randomize